Wedding schmedding

How I can't wait for our big day to come and be over and be free of family angst.
I am not saying that it is a nightmare...but at times I wish we had just run away the two of us.

I am freaking out about the ever increasing budget, not because we can't afford it, because I simply didn't want to spend a lot! That has totally been blown out of the window. It makes me feel almost nauseous at times how much we are spending on this day. And there have been tears, mine, about how I wish I had made different decisions, been a bit firmer with some people, including myself.

The dad situation is hard and my sisters don't get it. They say they sort of do, but they don't. And I refuse to feel bad that I don't want him at the wedding breakfast, I barely have a relationship with him and he told me he wanted to get back to HIS FAMILY god dammit! Meaning not us! How can that be normal! So who gives a shit, I am happy with my decision not to have him at the breakfast. I just need to bring it up with him. Soon.

My MIL is being a right royal pain in the arse about how we should have our invites out already. Over 3 months to go but sure...we should be rushing I'm sure. My sisters step kids and trying to softly tell her to get them not to come, a step closer today. My sister thinking I am tht much of a twat that I would leave my dad out of my speech (not doing one anyway) if he was sat at the side of me...thanks for thinking so highly of me sis. The speech was written without him being there. My mum breaking down asking me to invite her brother because her sister died a few weeks ago.

It's all just bullshit at times. Seriously...time over again, Mr M, me and an island somewhere. If it wasn't too close to do it now, I would change it all and bog off somewhere. I just hope on the day this is all behind us and I can be happy for the right reasons rather than it being over.

I am starving it has to be said and therefore am being extra shitty whilst writing this. x